My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
