those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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