problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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