oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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