Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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