He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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