xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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