My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
