i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
honey bunches of taint.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
