In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize