I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
