Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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