respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
