Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
