I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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