I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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