I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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