That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
