I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
