I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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