I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
