please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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