yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
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