two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
