She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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