Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
