she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We are all done wearing pants today
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
