I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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