So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
