It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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