...so i touched it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
