Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
