she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
