so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
