thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
