I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
