Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
