He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
