Only a mothe r could love this liver
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
