sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize