After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
