She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
