Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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