Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
