Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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