I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
