Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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