At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
