oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
