New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize