Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
