he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
