I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
