what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
