i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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