I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
