Where is the hickey?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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