Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
