i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
